Second, I believe, and medical research has shown, that having a positive attitude can help speed up that recovery and make it more comfortable. People in a more positive state of mind feel less pain, and have fewer detours and speed bumps on the road to recovery, at least from my past experience and what I have read. (As a cancer survivor, I have already endured radiation and chemo therapy, as well as two major abdominal surgeries.)
But how to do this when I am facing one of the scariest things I am likely to encounter in my life? Simply put, the idea of open-heart surgery scares the shit out of me. I know that the statistics are on my side, that the vast majority of people who undergo the procedure I need (aortic valve replacement) do very well and make a full recovery, and enjoy both improved health and a better quality of life.
I am one of those people, however, who can't help dwelling on the negative sometimes. My mind gravitates toward the worst-case scenario, the things that can go wrong, and the thought that I won't make it through my surgery.
I'm not always morose - I love to laugh and enjoy good conversation, and the finer things in life like spending time with my wife and daughter (a college student now studying abroad in Germany), as well as art, music, books and movies. And good food, and, of course, beer, how could I forget that?
So how do I keep focused on the positive? Well, for one, I love to write, so this blog is therapeutic for me, allowing me to confront my fears and deal with them. For those who haven't done so, try keeping a journal of your thoughts, it might be a big help.
Also, as I found during my cancer treatment and recovery (25 years cancer-free this July!), human contact is critical to getting through such a life-changing experience. You will find that some of your friends and family are too worried or upset themselves to be hugely supportive, but then other people will surprise you with their willingness to lend a shoulder to lean or cry on. Take advantage of those opportunities.
Support groups are another great way to get through the worst of your emotional lows. I remember thinking when I was going through cancer treatment that a support group would be too depressing, just a bunch of people sitting around feeling terrible. The exact opposite was true. Sure there were tears sometimes, but they were far outweighed by laughter and inspiration. There is nothing like being in a room with people who know exactly what you are going through.
Some people find meditation is very helpful to calm their nerves and focus on the positive. To that end, you can use relaxation CDs or audio downloads, which guide you to a place of peace, tranquility and positivity.
In two days, I will take my first step toward surgery, when I have an angiogram. This is a procedure that will let my doctors know if I have any blockages in my coronary arteries that need to be addressed along with my troublesome aortic valve.
One thing that is helping me now is a determination to look ahead,
beyond the surgery. I intend to be around next summer to watch my daughter graduate from college, and travel to Russia for the World Cup (our family has attended the last two World Cups, in South Africa and Brazil. The photo above is from our Brazil trip in 2014.) And I have other plans, like spoiling my grandchildren, and possibly moving to South Korea or Japan to teach English for a year. I am setting aside time to visualize these future activities.
In order to have these desired experiences, first I have to get through the upcoming surgery and the post-op recovery. That is an essential first step toward embarking on the next chapter of my life. My full story isn't close to being written.
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